The Worst Thanksgiving Day Ever
And why I'm usually on a cruise on turkey day.
If you know me personally, or follow me on social media, you probably know that around Thanksgiving time, I usually take a cruise holiday somewhere.
That tradition started from the time I was alone on Thanksgiving Day. When I was getting a divorce from the mother of my children, we came up with a plan for splitting up the holidays - who would have the girls for Thanksgiving, who for Christmas, etc.
I was okay with our plan: she would take the first Thanksgiving, I would take Christmas. I planned to visit family in Florida for Christmas, so I'd take the girls, and we'd all have a great old time.
To make use of my time, I signed up to provide chiropractic services through Hosea Feed The Hungry and one of the Chiropractic Associations.
The event went well; we adjusted many people - there were even some "chiropractic miracles" (as always).
However, it ended too early, leaving me with too much time to think about how my kids weren't with me, and how I had fucked up another marriage.
Sitting there, wallowing in sadness, a thought struck me:
"What makes you happy?"
Travel! Then go somewhere. Where, though?
What's a happy place?
Disney!
"NO, YOU HATE DISNEY!"
"No, I don't - I hate crowds, sweltering heat, and overpriced everything."
"Well, what about a cruise?"
Yes! A cruise! I loved the last one so much I even bought CCL stock!
That was my Scarlett O'Hara moment:
"As God is my witness, I’ll never be sad on Thanksgiving Day Again!"
So there you have it. That was me trying to prevent future sadness by changing my circumstances. If it happened today, I'd focus on working on myself instead of altering events.
And now, almost every Thanksgiving since then (except during COVID), I've set sail on the high seas. It's not just about escaping sadness or past holiday ghosts; it's about embracing a new tradition. Each cruise is a reminder that to find joy, sometimes you must steer your own ship away from the storm.
Cheers to new traditions.
-Dan
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Most of the great violence committed by humankind is against animals — turkeys largely among the targeted — their blood literally shed and bodies eaten in mind-boggling quantities by people.
Maybe animal slaughtering and eating is as bad for one's spirit as it can be for one's body, and even the natural environment. It even leaves me wondering whether the metaphorical forbidden fruit of Eden eaten by Adam and Eve was actually God’s four-legged creation. I'm not vegetarian, but I can still see that really angering the Almighty — a lot more than the couple’s eating non-sentient, non-living, non-bloodied fruit.
Regardless, the following poem is for the growing number of people for whom there's nothing to be thankful for:
.
Just pass me the holiday turkey, peas
and the delicious stuffing flanked
by buttered potatoes with gravy
since I’ve said grace with plenty ease
for the good food received I’ve thanked
my Maker who’s found me worthy.
.
It seems that unlike the many of those
in the unlucky Third World nation
I’ve been found by God deserving
to not have to endure the awful woes
and the stomach wrenching starvation
suffered by them with no dinner serving.
.
Therefor hand over to me the corn
the cranberry sauce, fresh baked bread
since for my grub I’ve praised the Lord
yet I need not hear about those born
whose meal I’ve been granted instead
as they receive naught of the grand hoard.