My friend wished me happy Mother’s Day and it made me cry

Where did this come from?

Today is Mother’s Day to throughout the day I’ve been texting my friends who are moms and wishing them well on their day.

A buddy of mine sent me a text and said “Happy Mother’s Day, lol!”

Immediately replied back “same to you!”

Then I started thinking: Did he mean that because I am both father and mother to my daughters? Or was it just typical guy behavior (from my era) joking around calling me gay.

Then I got to thinking about how today is tough for my daughters because they lost their mom to cancer over 4 years ago.

I was driving when i got the text and next thing I know tears are streaming down my face. Maybe it has been tough for me too.

These girls have NEEDED their mom on so many occasions! I could never fill those shoes!

I could have really used her help with our youngest daughter. Maybe she could have said ONE thing to her to make her thing twice about un-aliving herself.

Maybe she could’ve shared my grief, or maybe we could’ve just talked about the situation and how we can get our tortured little girl back from her uncomfortable reality.

Full disclosure: My daughters are all adults, and their mother and I were no longer together. We had been divorced for about 8 years when she passed.

When she passed away, I felt like I couldn’t grieve-after all, I was just the ex-husband.

Took me a while to realize that I had lost a family member too. I don’t think I have completely gotten over it, at least not well. There was a lot of anger and resentment in the divorce and over the years we had tried to be civil, and even had holiday celebrations with EVERYONE attending. Come to find out, the new husband hated that arrangement.

Before she passed, we said we still loved each other and said our goodbyes. I told her I would look after our daughters and made sure her mom was ok. Maybe i’m feeling so emotional because I feel like I’ve made a mess of things here or I’m simply not over it yet.

Happy Mother’s Day!