Creating my sickness

Sometimes little things end up being BIG things

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When I was a kid, my mom and dad used to fight a lot. Sometimes I could hear them arguing after my bedtime.

I must’ve been 5 or 6 years old. I wake up and I’m not feeling well. Im gonna go tell my parents that Ifeel sick. I can hear them arguing, I don’t really know what they are fighting about this time, but it’s nothing new.

I walk into the living room where they are and tell them “I’m not feeling well”

They stop fighting and they spring into action!

Mom checks my temperature - I have a fever, dad goes to the pharmacy to get stuff for me (probably Bay Rum-i used to get a rubdown with that stuff to bring a fever down)

They act like they are concerned about me.

AND THEY STOPPED FIGHTING.

Shortly after that I developed asthma. I would wheeze and cough and coudn’t breathe.

For Most of my childhood I was the kid that couldn’t exert himself, or I would go into a full-blown asthma attack.

I got all sorts of medications, but mostly a strong cough syrup with codeine. I guess it was pretty strong too, because I developed high blood pressure as a kid.

Being a kid with asthma sucked, when I would exert myself too much, I would start wheezing and couldn’t breathe. After a while, I got kind of used to it. I spent a lot of time reading . I read the entire World Book Encyclopedia for God’s sake!

I tried to be a normal kid- but whenever we played games at school, I was always picked last (or close to it.) I guess I never developed any sort of athletic ability.

That was practically my life for most of grade school.

When I made it to junior high, there was a coach in my school that used to train athletes in the evenings. He asked me if I would be willing to go run at the big track in Colón, but I didn’t want to do it.

Fast forward a few years and I moved to the States. I’m in 9th grade and in PE class.

This new coach says: “Today we are going to run a few times around the school.” Immediately I raise my hand and say “I can’t run because of MY ASTHMA!”

He took me aside and said: “Son, you are going to try. You are going to do your best”

I felt like I didnt have a choice so I tried.

And I did it!

And I did it the next day too!

At fifteen, I was just 135 pounds and was six feet two inches tall. All arms and legs. I realized my long legs made me pretty fast for short distances.

Hmm. Where was my asthma? No matter, I tried out for a few sports and enjoyed playing. This coach actually gave me a trophy for “most improved.”

My self-confidence was improving.

The doctors said I outgrew my asthma or the change in climate helped.

Many years later as I am very interested in personal growth, this therapy session brought this realization to me:

I had created my asthma to prevent my parents from fighting!

Whaaat? That’s crazy! Maybe it is.

My subconscious had tried to fix a situation in the best way a 6 year old subconscious knows how.

It affected my whole life.

Now in practice many years later, I am constantly reminding clients not to use negative self talk, to see themselves as vibrant healthy people.

Our body is a representation of our subconscious.

Have the healthiest subconscious mind you can possibly have.

Peace.

-Dan